Neil juggles working part-time at Marks and Spencer, caring for his dad and brother, a member of the M&S Family and Carers Network and volunteers for Forward Carers in what little spare time he has! Here is his blog that was shared with M&S staff during Carers Week.

My name is Neil Joesbury, and I work at M&S Princess Alice Park in Birmingham.

I’m a part-time colleague — but outside of work, I’m also a full-time carer for my brother Adam and my dad Bob.

My dad lives with vascular dementia, angina and stomach cancer, among other health conditions.  My brother has learning difficulties and is on the autism spectrum.

Before 2017, my dad and I shared caring responsibilities for my brother.  But on 1st December 2017, everything changed.

Within a matter of hours, we were told my dad had suffered a bleed on the brain.

In that moment, I became the main Carer for both my dad and my brother.

The Importance of Conversation

During that time, I stayed in touch with work — and the support I received made such a difference.

One manager told me:

“Your family comes first — just keep us updated.”

That one conversation gave me the confidence to keep speaking up.

When I returned to work, I was allowed to keep my phone with me in case of emergencies — something small that made a huge difference.

At home, things weren’t always easy.

In those early days, my brother told me:

“You’re not my carer.”

And I remember saying:

“I’ll show you that I can be.”

That pushed me to speak up again — this time outside of work.

Continuing to Speak Up

I reached out to Forward Carers and asked for support.  And that one step changed everything.

Since then, speaking up has opened more doors than I ever expected.

I’ve shared my story, become a Carer Ambassador, and now run three support groups — including a new LGBTQ+ Carers group in Birmingham.

And something incredible happened.

My brother found his voice too.

He went on to work with the Alzheimer’s Society and even spoke in front of 200 people at a conference. We sat there watching — and yes, we cried.

He was later nominated for an Unsung Hero Award at the Dementia Care Awards 2024.

What I’ve learned

I would always recommend speaking up — even if it feels difficult.

For me, it started with just one conversation.

And that one conversation:

Helped me get support at work

Helped me find support outside of work

Gave me confidence I didn’t know I had

Opened opportunities for me and my brother

Carers Week: Speak Up

If you support someone outside of work — you are not alone.

You might not call yourself a Carer.  You might not know where to start.

But speaking up, even once, can open the door to support.

One conversation can open up support.  Support doesn’t stop at work — and neither should the conversation.